"The name's your wife's Lover," -Andrei Ulmeyda after creaming himself to the new Samuari Jack trailer. 


Andrei ulmeyda

Andrei Ulmeyda, born in 1984 to a family of wealthy NSFW fetish artists, is the CEO of Black Mesa and head researcher of the corporation's meta-bio-engineering department. Sometime before graduating from Harvard in 2004, Andrei met Mark Cuckerberg and the two became best friends. Many considered the two to be as thick as thieves since both sponsor each other's projects and in 2010 Mark purchased Andrei's most famous invention--the Meme Generator. In 2013 Andrei assumed total control of Black Mesa and junior ownership of the Umbrella Corporation. Andrei's IQ is estimated to be 101 thus making him the smartest black man alive.

Fright Side Institute of Technology

Once Neo Scary Godmother came into power they accepted Andrei's offer of the Big Mac secret formula in exchange for some private land to build a laboratory. After a year of construction the Fright Side Institute of Technology was opened in 2015. It's whereabouts and true intentions are unknown although many of the scientists who work there are known to visit the Drunken Pumpkin on half-day Fridays. Andrei, however, has not been seen in public since the lab became fully operational. Many of the mutants found throughout the forests of Fright Side are rumored to have originated from the lab's experiments gone wrong.


  • He is a Patriot's fan.
  • He claims to have found a cure to HIV after infecting himself with it.
  • Allegedly he is a notorious shitposter on /sci/.
  • Some argue he came up with the idea Yakub.
  • He was the first to recite the Dragon Ball GT Rap without missing a beat.
  • He designed and groomed sentient pants to follow him in case he ever pre-ejaculates.

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