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Drew Pickles
Drew
"Bag, that was swell."
Vital statistics
Gender Manly Man
Age Gay
Likes Men, rape, penises, poop, anal sex, gay clowns
Dislikes Women, homophobes, being straight
Voice Actors
US: Microsoft Sam

Andrew "Drew" Pickles (born May 17, 1969 in Burbank, California) is a character from the TV show "Rugrats", but has a very dark secret. He is the second gayest known man and organism in the universe who is commander of the Barney Bunch. Drew is Barney the Dinosaur's current boyfriend. He also has a mastadonic 300 mile long penis when it is erected. He likes to rape anything that is male, use objects as dildos to shove into his butt, and shatter the fourth wall.

Birth and Early Life

Drew Pickles grew up in Burbank, California as a gay child. When he was born in 1969, his penis was a whopping five feet long. The doctors called it a very queer birth defect. The penis would grow a lot through Drew's young life, as well as getting harder. When Drew started school at the age of five, his penis was now twenty miles long and he had to keep it rolled up and hiding in his pants out of medical orders. He didn't follow directions well and started having sex with the boys in the classroom during playtime. He also came on the teacher. Drew damaged or destroyed a lot of things with his dick. He even filled up the school's swimming pool with his own cum. Facing lawsuits and death threats from the Los Angeles School District, Drew's dad Lou took him out of school forever after the third grade. This was a mistake that Lou regretted for the rest of his life.

Tween Life, Teen Life, and early Adult Life

When Drew turned 10 years old, he began feeling very weird. He started crapping on his dad and little brother Stu, sticking dildos in his butt, and peeing all over the city with his penis (which has now grown to 50 miles long). The following year, Drew got some gay porn magazines for his eleventh birthday and soon started looking at the porn. He couldn't stop. Drew once could not sleep for a week due to all the porn he looked at. Drew's father Lou kicked him out of the house when he was 18 so he could find a job. He was able to find a job at the gay bar downtown to strip for old gay men. Drew received lots of money to buy dildos to put up into his ass. He remained a gay stripper for another 17 years.

Marriage

After being a gay stripper for 17 years, Drew married Charlotte at the age of 35 in 1987. They would later have a daughter named Angelica a year later. Although Drew didn't like being married to a woman, he was tired of men for that period. But when he decided to have sex with men again instead with women, he went out when his wife was sleeping to rape men. Charlotte knew nothing of this until later on.

On the show "Rugrats"

In 1991, Drew and his family got to be on the Nickelodeon cartoon Rugrats as Tommy Pickles uncle, aunt, and cousin. Drew had to hide his gayness and giant penis (whick was now 295 miles long) in the show to avoid controversy. He did ok about hiding his gayness and penis exept for once in 1998 when The Rugrats Movie came out. There was a scene from when Drew found out that his daughter Angelica was missing and he began to viciously rape his brother Stu and then began choking him with his large penis. This scene was cut out from the movie and replaced with a scene where Drew tackled Stu in anger. In 2002, Nick asked Drew if he wanted to be on the Rugrats spinoff All Grown Up. Drew said no to the request but told Nick they could make a clone of him (that was not gay and didn't have a giant penis). Nick answered yes. Drew would remain on Rugrats until the show finally ended after a 13 year run in 2004.

The Barney Bunch

In 2005, Drew helped out with making a group on Newgrounds with his friends Barney, Ronald McDonald, and Dick the Clown called The Barney Bunch. He knew all of these guys from his stripping days at the bar where they first met. Drew was the leader of the group, which would remain on Newgrounds until 2007 when it got suspended from the site after Hit Entertainment (the company who owned Barney) threatened to sue. The Barney Bunch reunited the following year on Newgrounds as well as expanding to Youtube. During his year off, Drew's penis grew another five miles bringing it to a total length of 300 miles. He would later have his penis in the world record book for its length. He would also have many rivals over the years with those who claim to be gayer than him. Drew's most famous rivals are the Pube Muppet, Justin Beiber, and Yogi Bear.

Porn career

Drew Pickles starred in over 69,000 pornos. Most of the pornos had Barney the Dinosaur, Ronald McDonald, or Ned Flanders in them. Drew Pickles made over eight-hundred million dollars for creating these pornos. Drew Pickles produced, directed and starred in all of his movies. Some of them were over fifteen days long, and sometimes each porno DVD case included a free tissue if you cum too much. You can buy Drew Pickles' hawt pornos at your local Blockbuster! A few examples of his most famous movies include:

  • Drew Pickles and the Goatse Gang
  • Anal Juices Waterpark
  • Cocksuckers from Cuba
  • 2069: A Space Orgy
  • Holy Shit He's Huge
  • Anal Invaders From Planet XXX
  • Dicksicles on Ice!
  • Assarama


Sports career

Drew also had a successful career in the Boner Baseball League, and won every boner baseball game. He won the championship of the Boner Baseball League every year. Drew was sent to Barney's Penis World to play in the worldwide Boner Baseball Superbowl! He did successful in this superbowl, and he even performed in the halftime show by doing magic tricks with his dick.

Poopy Pies

Have you ever eaten Drew Pickles' famous poopy pies? Well, if you haven't, one thing I could describe what they taste like to you: delectable! Yes, Drew's famous poopy pies are quite delicious! Loads of poop and semen in one bite! Yum! The crust isn't just made out of any graham-crust, but poopy-graham-crust! People give Drew's famous poopy pies two thumbs up, and one big erection! Drew's poopy pies have poop, semen, urine and blood that can come out from your ass! Mix that all togheter and put it in poopy-graham-crust, put it in the oven for two hours at 360 degrees Farenheit and then take it out and let it cool for ten minutes and enjoy the pie! Drew Pickles' poopy pies are sold to a local store near you!

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