Mstom 400x400

Thomas Wayne Anderson II spent the better part of his childhood trying to recreate the Rice Crispy Treat formula. This was the last interesting thing he did until the magnificent year of 2003. In 2003 Thomas, or your friend Tom has he preferred, was sick of being so lonely so he tried to create his own girlfriend through code. It didn't work and some people got hurt pretty bad. Desperate to pay back the damages he caused he used his existing website domain to create the world's first social media site--MySpace.

Cucked Off MySpace

Tom had a pretty good run with his new site although scholars debate if he actually got laid or not around this time. He made everyone who joined be his friend so he was pretty damn lonely as some studies suggest. Tom's popularity suffered after Robbie Rotten posted his manifesto on the site before carrying out his school shooting attack. With competitors such as moot the founder of 4Kids and Lex Ooober the usurper of Facebook, Tom lost both the NEET and normie userbases. In 2009 with one last attempt to make money Tom signed a deal with 20th Century Fox in order to make a cartoon of himself but the contract actually gave the rights of MySpace to Fox and so he was banned from his own site for 999 years.

"I am Tom" Disaster.

Still wanting to have his story told Tom sought to write his own play called "I am Tom." He took a two year hiatus with script because of a "mental breakdown" and a vague excuse about his wife's "bone marrow" issues. In 2011 Tom was unable to find a producer for his finished script so he had to make an alternate account on Facebook. There he was able to sign a deal with a producer by the name of Aoi. On July 22nd, 2011 "I am Tom" hit Broadway and was smashed to the ground with negative reviews. Rotten Tomatoes clarified the character of Tom portrayed by Drew Pickles was a mistake that could not be undone. This along with the onset rape, both 'M's in the sign light going out, attempted assassination of the president, and Tom accidentally locking himself in his own car before the premiere resulted in his assured, financial ruined.

Tom Today

Tom was given a one year period to pay back Aoi. Using the last of his credit karma score Tom wagered everything he had that the world would NOT end in 2012. Unfortunately for Tom the mob tied him down on new years eve and forced him to watch Wayne's World. When the credits rolled he was legally sodomized. Shortly after that Tom was kidnapped by Aoi and kept in a dog cage somewhere in the wilderness of Illinois. As of 2016 Tom has entered the possession of Neo Scary Godmother who have been unable to auction him on ebaby.


  • His son hits him
  • Go to Farley's trivia